Thats what she told me ,,

We were hanging out at her place when she told me that she's going to the US for college,
She showed me the school website and all , she was so excited and happy about it .
i didn't know what to say ,, I'm extremely happy for her ,, but its hard .
She's my best friend and she's going to live in the other side of the world .
All i kept thinking about was , i cant imagine my self without her in the picture .

....

All i need is air i breath ,,

A friend of mine once told me that there is two things in life , things you might need And things u might want .
And I've been thinking about it  , I know that i need to Sleep,eat, because that's what a human body needs !  
I Need to pray , to feed my soul.
I Need to be loved but i think i want to be in love .
I Need to be careful but i want to go wild and never think about the consequences.
I Need to be adjudicated .
I Need to smile even when i feel like crying .
But not that i couldn't do whatever i want ,
 OK i need to smile ! but what if i cant take it anymore and i seriously want to cry ?  then crying is what you need , so i just made a WANT to a NEED :P !
So i guess its always about what you need ,not want.
you just need to figure things out at first .

My own opinion of course ;)

...

       At some point ,every single thing in your life has to change .. People leave , people come.
and life goes on.
 Sunday 12:00 am ...
N.D : noony I'm scared my mother just went to the hospital when she got this phone call  They said that "mama fa6ma " is bleeding ! :( ..
Me : :O !,Its going to be okay inshallah and she will get better <3 ! Don't think much,just pray for her ..
2:00am..
I went to the bathroom and washed my face,brushed my teeth preparing for bed, i looked at the mirror and thought about many things , What if she dies ? la inshalla alla y6wel b3mrha ..
And then i start to imagine what's going to be like if she did ..
And again , i just tell my self that everything is going to be okay and inshallah she's going to be better ...
And i went to bed .
5:00am
Nooony .. Noooony .. !! Are you awake ?
 Noo i'm not .. Nooony .. 9a7yah ?
There was something with my mothers voice ,
i stared at her with a sleepy eyes and told her that I'm awake ..
she started crying ,,
[ Omi matt ,, omi matt] ! she was her grandmother .. and the one who raised her , the one who taught her a lot of stuff , and the one who loved her with no limits .
I freaked out and hop of my bed ! i didn't get it , i was staring at her and hoping that in somehow I'm just DREAMING !!
i wanted to wake up but it  wasn't a dream .
she came to my bed and hugged me so hard ,, she was shaking .
And i couldn't talk , or even move ,
I wash shocked . The one unexpected thing just happened ..
She got out of my room , and i lay my head on my pillow slowly and i was freezing and shaking ,
I woke up , took a shower , i never felt like this before ,, i had no face Expressions .
We went to the "m'3eesl" Its a place where they wash and prepare Dead people .
we were the first to arrive , and then my mothers auntie came and my grandmother too(daughters) .
i walked in , and it was the third time for me to enter this place , But i never felt more scared than that moment in my entire life . 
she was there , laying on the bed .. she was white and her face was so pure  .
She looked so beautiful , like she was a sleep.
her daughter Dina was holding her and crying ,, i started crying too ,, She was just laying there and her chest wouldn't move ,,  !
she was gone !
Mama fa6ma is gone ...
That's the moment when i truly realized that nothing in this life would ever stay the same ..
nothing ...
she was sick for 10 years ,, and we got used to her laying on one of the couches of the living room , sleeping or awake , laughing or really tired .
and the couch is empty at this moment ,,
who knew that someday this couch isn't going to have any sheets on top of it anymore ?
and where's the bed ?
the bed was gone ..


 ( Allahum ir7ma mwtana w mwta elmuslemeen,, allahum ir7mha w a'3fer lha , w n8eha min elthnoob kama yona8a althoub al2bya'9 min aldanas ).

Rama'9an .

  So i wake up on the sound of my two little brothers fighting( two monsters) , stare at the roof and 'pffffh-.-',
Cover my face with the blanket ,and sleep again.
Wake up an hour later but with a different type of screaming , its my mom .
so i hop of my bed and hit the shower and start singing .. ( Super humaaaaaaaaaa- LA T'3NEN FE EL7MAM-eeeeen -.-).
I get out of the shower wear my bathrobe and look at the foggy mirror and write my name on it.
i  start combing my hair (world war 3) .
wear my clothes, wear my Abaia and run down the stairs,OH i forgot my bag! ( la elah ela allah ro7e jebeeha bsr3a by2theeeeeen ) .
Get back to the car and the whole family stares at me with strange looks like i did something wrong.
5 minutes and there we are,my grandmothers house.
i ring the bell 4000 times until "pasita" (maid) opens the door.
and she answer like 4000 times "MEEEEEN ? MEEEEEEEN ??"  " ANAA OPEN " " MEEN ANA ?"
And there she goes :) ..
finally she let us in .. i run into the kitchen to see whats for breakfast and kiss and squeeze my grandmother.
(Allaahu akbar) " ATHAAAAN " ..
everyone comes down.
(el7mdellah..) .. i go upstairs to watch (5wa6er 6 ) .. and then lay on the couch. i don't know why i get this sleepy mood after breakfast ..
6ash m6ash ..
everyone goes to masjed and i don't, (lazy) ..
Zewarat el5mees.
Go out or stay home .
get back home .
open my laptop,(fcbk+msn+blogger).
Read Quraan.
Sleep. !
And here we go again :D !

The other half .

Munera.

       She lives right across the hall Next to the living room,She might be the most annoying person i know.

But as far as i know i could never find anyone with kind pure heart like hers,

he reads my mind,we say the same words every time and then she just run and hit my forehead.

we fight a lot,few minutes later.. Like nothing happened.

she always comes to my room and start talking and talking constantly and all the pillows in the world wont shut her up (trust me).
she always comes to me when I'm sad,Well she's the only one who would actually notice it.

She's so cute and tiny you could just grab her and fit her into your pocket,
and if she wanted something man start looking for ear bulges, 'casue she wont stop asking for it.
I know one thing .. no matter how many friends i have or had.
No one can ever replace her.
She completes me, so she's my other half.
She's my baby sister.

16 going to 17!

Isn't really creepy how time passes by so fast? I mean yesterday I was a five years old kid !! 



It's weird,, cause when I was a kid I couldn’t wait tell I'm older !


And now I wish time would just stop and I would stop growing.


As much as u grow as much as the responsibility grows with you.


At the age of five you have to wear your clothes by yourself, shower by yourself, and eat by yourself .so at this age you’re a grown kid.






And at the age of ten you must do your homeworks by yourself, arrange your bed, be responsible for your own actions because now you're old enough to recognize the right from wrong.


At the age of twelve you start to hate people and feel strange,and Don't forget the extra sensitivity.
And then you are a teenager!! A thirteen year old teenager, your body starts to change and your mind as well.


And the responsibility grows,now you're supposed to be a full grown women in everything,cause people start expecting from you.


14-15-16 you become a really moody person, sometimes you wouldn’t know what you want.


Some teenagers would feel lost at that age because it’s the age of building your own personality,and of course it's always about the Extra sensitivity.


17 ? I wouldn’t know but I just feel like I'm an older person my body my face my mind all of it it's just telling me that I'm a grown women.


And of course the responsibility.. Yesterday my mom gave me my own house key! *don't think I'm going to use it though*

Would it be wrong if I wanted to rewind all of these years or if I would just stop it from playing?


 Time just passes by with no permeation.